


Give It Time

by dodosindamnation



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: it was a thing, logicality has broken up btw, that isn't a thing but i tagged it as it because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21893410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dodosindamnation/pseuds/dodosindamnation
Summary: Patton and Logan had been dating for eighteen months when they broke up. The split left a bit of animosity between the two and their best friends, Virgil and Roman. When Virgil ends up hurt by Patton’s choice to end the relationship, he confronts his ex and his best friend, and in turn uncovers lots of nasty little emotions he’d kept hidden before…
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Patton put his lunch down and Virgil looked up, but his eyes jumped away instantly.

“You okay, Virge?” Patton asked. His friend’s eyes were rimmed with red and his breathing was short and fast. “What happened?”

Virgil shook his head, which he was now holding between his hands.

“Virgil? Hey, breathe for me, okay? Breathe.”

Virgil tried to take a deep breath, but it came out as a sob.

Patton’s heart leaped onto his throat instantly. He moved to sit next to his friend.

“Can I touch you, V?”

Virgil nodded, but couldn’t speak. Patton put his hand on Virgil’s back and rubbed soothing circles on it, while holding his friend’s bicep with the other.

“It’s okay, Kiddo. You’re okay. Take deep breaths. You can do it, come on.”

Virgil shook his head again. Patton started tapping a rhythm on his back. Four, rest, seven, rest, eight.

“You can do it. Breathe in for four seconds—” Virgil did, but only after a few failed attempts. “Hold for seven… out for eight. There we go, that’s it. That’s it. Do it again for me, okay? A few more times.”

They did that for a few minutes, and when Virgil was finally breathing properly, he crossed his arms on the table and rested his head on them. Patton was still rubbing his back.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

Virgil shook his head.

“Okay. If I guess right, then would you tell me?”

There was a second of hesitation, then Virgil shrugged.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes. So, were you assigned loads of homework today?” Virgil shook his head, and Patton took that as encouragement. “Did you forget an assignment that’s due?” Another shake. Patton looked around the room, at all the people. Then, his eyes fell on two sat at the opposite end of the hall. His breath caught in his throat and tears suddenly stung his eyes. When he spoke, it came out as something barely above a whisper. “Was it… was it Roman?”

There was a brief hesitation, then Virgil met Patton’s eyes, and that was all he needed to do.

“I’m sorry, Virgil. I’m so, so sorry. I promise you, I’m going to put an end to this.”

“Patton, it’s fine. It wasn’t really anything, I don’t even think he meant to— to upset me, I just—“

“No. No you’re not blaming yourself for this. It’s my fault, and I’m gonna end it, kiddo. I promise.”

He stood up and stalked past Virgil, striding to the other end of the hall, tears running down his face.

He stopped in front of their table, and Logan and Roman looked up. Roman instantly appeared defensive, and Logan just looked…

It didn’t matter.

Patton sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “Listen, you two. I get that you hate me. That’s fine. I don’t mind. I don’t blame you. You’re allowed to hate me. I’m your ex-boyfriend. But not Virgil. You can hate me and you can be mean to me and you can do whatever you want to me but you do not hurt him, do you understand?”

He looked at them, at Roman’s cold, hateful stare and Logan’s wide, shocked eyes. Neither answered, so he continued.

“Virgil is my best friend in the world and I’ve just had to calm him down from a panic attack because of something you did to him — I don’t know what but it was you. And that is not allowed. This is between me and you, Logan. I don’t let Virgil go after you so you can’t go after him, okay? I don’t mind you getting Roman involved because I deserve it. I’ll take whatever you give to me. You can do whatever you want. You can hate me and ignore me and call me names in the halls—I couldn’t care less because I deserve it. I’m a terrible, horrible, no good person for what I put you through and I’m sorry, Lo, I really am. I’m sorry for asking you out and getting you to like me and I’m sorry for everything we did together because it all went up in flames and that’s my fault and I deserve everything you both give me, even though it isn’t enough. You’re allowed to hate me. Hell, sometimes I hate me. But not him. You don’t get him involved. You don’t ever say anything bad to him again, okay? Otherwise I…” His voice cracked, and Logan’s eyes somehow got even wider. “I don’t know what I’ll do,” Patton admitted, a small, guilty sob splintering the words. “But it won’t be good. For any of us. So… leave him be, okay? Leave him be and I won’t fight back, but… but you hurt him like this again and I will, I swear to God I will.”

He swallowed thickly, trying to get past the lump in his throat. Roman’s mouth opened, and Patton turned on his heel and left the cafeteria, trying to bite back the sobs now shaking his body.

Logan stood up and called his name, but he disappeared so quickly he didn’t get the chance to chase him. So instead he turned to find Virgil in the crowd.

The other boy didn’t look at him. He just stood, grabbed both of their bags and ran after Patton. His best friend.

Logan turned to Roman.

“What did you do to him?” he asked quietly as he sat back down.

“Nothing!” Roman said. Logan shot him a warning glare. “I swear! I didn’t…” A look of realisation crossed his face. “I didn’t think he’d have a panic attack,” he whispered.

Logans anger flared. “You attacked him?” he exclaimed.

“It wasn’t really an attack! I saw him in the hall and tripped him. It wasn’t even entirely on purpose, I didn’t think it’d work!”

“Roman!”

“He hurt you, Logan! He broke your heart into a thousand tiny pieces and didn’t regret it in the slightest!”

“Virgil didn’t!”

“But Patton did! And Virgil’s his best friend!”

Logan stared in disbelief. “I don’t believe this. I don’t believe _you_.”

“Logan, he was the first person you ever really opened yourself up to and he took your heart and stabbed it. And he doesn’t regret it in the slightest.”

“Roman, did we just witness the same thing? Look at him! You think he doesn’t regret it? He… he’s worse than I am, and now not only does he feel guilty about hurting me but he’ll feel guilty about hurting his best friend, too!”

Roman scoffed. “Do you honestly believe that? He doesn’t regret anything! That was all a show he put on to guilt trip you! Trust me, I know fake tears when I see them. I’m an actor.”

Logan shook his head and stood up. “I’m going to make sure he’s okay.”

“Logan, what? No!”

Logan ignored him and left the cafeteria.


	2. Chapter 2

Patton ran. Of course he did, that’s all he ever did. The second he was out of sight of the majority of the school he bolted. He couldn’t breathe and as long as he was by all those people he wouldn’t be able to start. He had to get away.

His eyesight morphed, and the world looked like he was peering through one of those fisheye lenses he used to put on his dad’s camera when he was younger.

Patton burst through the toilet doors and was glad to find it empty.

He threw himself into a cubicle and locked the door, before curling up in a ball on the closed toilet seat.

He screwed his eyes shut and sobbed into his arms.

A few seconds passed, before he heard the door open and close.

Patton held his breath so he didn’t make a sound.

“Pat? You in here?” Virgil asked.

Patton’s breath exploded out of him in gasps and sobs.

A knock on the door. “Patton let me in. It’s just us in here, okay? C'mon, please talk to me.”

There was no answer, and Virgil suddenly felt anxiety creep into his mind.

“Patton, please. You’re freaking me out a little. Open the door, let me know you’re okay.”

Patton hiccuped weakly and unlocked the door, before curling back up onto the toilet seat. Virgil pushed the door open.

He smiled. “So, we’re gonna hang in here together?”

Patton nodded and buried his face in his arms, which were now crossed on his knees.

Virgil’s smile fell and he stepped inside, locking the door behind him.

“Pat, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Nothing,” Patton answered, his voice muffled.

“Now, that’s a lie. Come on, Pat, talk to me.”

Patton shook his head. If he told Virgil he’d worry, and Patton didn’t want to worry him.

Virgil sighed and unlocked the door. He wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist and pulled him up before dragging him out of the cubicle completely.

Patton sputtered helplessly. “Let— what— Virgil!”

Virgil let him go and studied his face. His friend eyes were puffy and red, and so were his cheeks, but other than that he didn’t look too bad.

Patton glared at him, and the only sound was that of Patton’s hiccupping sobs for a minute. Then, Virgil opened his arms, and instantly the other teenager melted into them, burying his face in Virgil’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Virgil whispered. “It’s alright. You’re okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“You sh-should’ve seen his f-face,” Patton sobbed. “He l-looked so… so sh-shocked. A-a-and h-hurt.”

Virgil hugged him tighter as he felt wetness seep through his hoodie and onto the crook of his neck.

“I know. I know. It’s okay.”

“No it isn’t, V!” Patton cried. “It’s not okay! I h-hurt him. I hurt him so b-bad an’ I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for it.”

Virgil sighed. “You don’t need him to, Patton. You weren’t happy when you were together—”

“He was. I should’ve s-stayed. Until he was ready to let go.”

“Pat, buddy, that’s not how relationships work, okay? You can’t hold on just because he’s happy. You need to do what’s best for you sometimes.”

“But… but we were together for a year and a half… and we were friends for, like, another year and a half before that… and I threw it away. I threw it all away and I destroyed him and I dunno if he’ll ever fix himself again and I don’t think I’ll fix myself until he’s fixed himself and I wanna be fixed, Virgil, I wanna be fixed so badly.”

He sobbed, and Virgil stroked his hair. “I know you do, Patton. And I want you to be fixed, too. But you need to give it time.”

“I’m sorry, V. I’m so s-sorry you were dragged into this. You and— and Roman were getting along s-so well, weren’t you? I r-ruined that, t-too. I ruined everything. All because I wanted to.”

“Patton, Roman and I were getting along, yeah, but we weren’t friends. He was my best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend, and I was his. We were mutuals. You didn’t ruin anything between us two, because there was nothing there.”

Patton shook his head. “They’re hurting you now.”

“Not really. Patton, he tripped me up. That’s all. I was more upset about all the people who saw than the actual tripping. And Logan hasn’t done anything to me. Just the other one.”

“But he did it for Logan. To get at me. He hurt you to try and hurt me, all because I hurt Logan. I never wanted to hurt him, Virge!”

“Of course you didn’t, Patton. You’re such a good person, you’d never purposely hurt him! And I’m sure he knows that too. I’m sure he just misses you.”

“He… we said we’d still be friends.”

“That’s really hard to make work, P. You’re both really hurt and sad and—”

“Yeah, but I don’t have any right to be sad, Virgil!” Patton cried.

“What? Of course you have a right to be sad. Why would you even think that? You were just as in love with him as he was you, Patton, so you have just as much of a right to be upset when it went wrong.”

“No, Virge! It’s my fault it went wrong. So I shouldn’t get to feel sad. It isn’t fair that I feel sad. But I do. Oh, my god I do.”

Virgil sighed. “I know, Pat.” He hugged him tighter. “I know you do.”

Patton sobbed into Virgil’s arms, and soon he wondered if his friend was actually hyperventilating.

“Patton?”

He didn’t answer. His fingers dug into Virgil’s back, and his breaths cane in short, erratic gasps.

Virgil pushed him away gently, and saw his eyes were wide and terrified. He clutched his chest and coughed.

“Patton, hey, it’s okay. Come on, let’s get you outside.” He fought to keep his voice calm, and was actually quite proud of how well he managed it.

Virgil wrapped his arm around Patton’s shoulders and led them out of the bathroom. Thankfully, Patton had chosen the toilets nearest to the emergency exit that led to the behind of the school.

And frankly, Virgil considered this to be an emergency.

They went outside, Patton’s breathing drowning out his heartbeat now pounding in his ears, and Virgil sat him down on a bench that the janitors had put outside so they could smoke.

He crouched down in front of Patton, whose back was now hunched as he tried desperately to suck in air.

“Patton, hey, listen to me. Listen to my voice. It’s okay. Alright? Everything’s going to be fine.”

Patton shook his head, his eyes screwed shut. “L… liar.”

“Hey, you know the rules. If I’m not allowed to interrupt you, you can’t interrupt me. Okay?”

Patton didn’t answer.

“Okay. Breathe for me, Pat. In for four seconds, you can do it. Come on, it’s okay, breathe for me.”

“C-can’t. Can’t b-breathe. Oh, God… Virgil, can’t breathe.”

“Patton, stop it. You’re scaring yourself more doing that. Everything’s gonna be okay. You’ve seen me do this thousands of times and I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Patton didn’t say anything.

“Okay, clearly the breathing isn’t going to work. Name five things you can see for me.”

“What?” Patton gasped.

“Five thing you can see. Now.”

Patton opened his eyes. “Y-you… the school… my— my hands…” He trailed off.

“Yeah? Go on, two more, you can do it.”

His breaths were already slowing with the distraction.

“I’m not doing this, Virgil.”

“Yes you are. Please? For me? Two more things.”

“The… grass. And… and my legs.”

Virgil grinned and nodded. “Yes. Good boy, well done. Now, four things you can hear for me.”

“Y-you talking. My breathing. The— the birds in the trees behind us… and the football team on the field.”

“Perfect. That’s perfect, well done…”

They carried on. Patton named three things he felt, two things he smelled, and one thing he tasted, and then it was just a few deep breaths and he was relatively calm again.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Virgil asked, sitting next to Patton and hugging him to his side.

Patton nodded. “You… you go through that so often…” he whispered, horrified at the prospect of suffering like that again.

Virgil squeezed him. “I’m used to it by now. I know how to calm myself down, so don’t worry about me.”

“I thought I was going to die.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it?”

“True though.”

Virgil looked at him and sighed. He pushed his friend’s head down onto his shoulder and scratched his head.

“I know it’s hard at the moment, Pat, but it’ll get better. You just need to give it time.”

“But I don’t have time! I see him every day, and even when I don’t, I still do! We— we did so much together and now everything reminds me of him! Of a date or a hangout or even just a phone call! Everything I see makes me think of him.”

“Oh, Patton. You just need to make new memories. And then those things’ll remind you of other things. Like me or your parents or Thomas and Joan and Talyn.”

“How do you know?”

“Because if you didn’t, imagine how sad all the adults would be. If this is how it is your entire life, how would all the adults be so cheerful? Because everyone’s been through this Patton. And if they haven’t already, they will. Everyone gets their heart broken.”

“But it hurts, V. It hurts so badly. And I don’t know if they have been through this, because I’m not okay, and I don't— I don’t think I ever can be. Or will be.”

“Of course you can, Patton. In time.”

“But…”

“I get it. You wanna be okay now. But you aren’t, and if you keep focusing on it, it’ll just take longer.”

Patton turned his head and buried his face in Virgil’s shoulder. His shoulders shook with silent sobs.

“It’ll get better, buddy. Give it time.”


End file.
